Not Really Trying. A few words and Tips for Studying

There are plenty of times throughout the week that I catch myself saying "I'm trying..." but deep down, I'm not.

Lately, with classes and career paths, church activities and teachings, etc. I have caught myself saying that I was trying and that the results were due to inexperience or that i was "not doing what was meant to be done, blah blah blah!" But I feel that it is the lack of willingness that is stirring the negative pools in my mind.

So what can I do about it?

I don't know.....how about TRY!!!!

It is, simply, easier typed than done. Mainly because I am so used to doing things the way that I have been doing them. You know, like it is spoken of in my Developmental Psychology class...you practice what you did when you were younger. I remember thoughout high school, everything came eays to me. Due to that fact, I could stroll into class and take a test without having to really study. I did my homework, took my quizzes, completed my test, and still had time to get a laugh out of others by scaring my math teacher everyday (It's ok, it was our thing). This was so much true that teachers would let me miss class to help the elementary school teachers with their classes (watch the kids during a meeting, take them outside to play, help with homework and so on).

So, now that I am already in my program, I am just finding out (one test away from a final....I should probably study instead of writing) that I will have to read my text book, notes, and past assignments to really pass.
It's tough.

My advisor was saying that there is a small chance I would be able to get into grad school and it scared me a bit. I am not going to take her word for it just because I know that  I can make it but still, its a bit scary at first.

So, how does one study properly? Here are a few tips that I will apply from now until the end of grad school and so on....

1. Print the class syllabus. Simple as that. I can say that most professors will include in the syllabus the chapters that will be covered in the upcoming classes, if not, just ask. Otherwise: 
2. Read, read,read. Check out the chapters that will be covered in the following class, along with any notes that may be posted online. The professor may not use all of the notes but better safe than sorry.
3. With that, Print off the notes. It makes it so much easier to follow along in class after reading them ahead of time and when they are right there in front of you.
4. Get off that computer!!! I know, throughout my days at the technical school I went to (Got my Associates :D) I took all of my notes on the computer and used my notebooks for daily assignments or the occasional doodle of a Yeti but I found out in my university that notebooks, note-cards, and printed notes keep me focused on the lecture and not on the best deals ebay has to offer.
5. Use a blue pen for notes...Don't ask me why, I just read that it helps???? Maybe I should check that one out...I use purple pens and a mechanical pencil. The pen is for underlining what I find to be more important in my notes. The pencil is for adding information that I did not have in my notes that the professor mentions.
6. IF you do choose to use a computer at all in the semester, I suggest you use it to transfer notes into something legible (I can never understand how people can write so quickly with beautiful handwriting...my notes look like they were written in Klingon). What I do with my psychology and Astronomy notes, is I go through the power point beforehand, type out what I think is most important or underlined. Then in class I follow along and underling what is most important or what I don't understand so that I can refer to the text for help.
7. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I haven't yet but I think I will next semester. I have already talked to someone about contact throughout the summer to keep up-to-date on tutor information and study sessions. So check that out for sure!!!
8. Save everything! Old quizzes are perfect for finals prep. and if they aren't need, make great scratch paper.
9. No television during study time, no one can multitask. Not even you! Put all focus on study material and if you need some noise in the background like I do, put on that instrumental Beethoven and other great classical music. It helps me...just keep it a bit low. (Joe Hisaishi is my favorite to listen to during a study session).
10. Take breaks often and keep water close. Your brain needs time to absorb the information so take breaks often but keep them short.

These are a few tips that I found helpful once I did start to try. Well, Almost....kind of....sorta...
With only about 3 weeks of classes left, I am unsure how I will be able to do better in such a short amount of  time. but only time and effort will tell.

It feels pretty gross to not try and see how quickly you can fall behind. It makes me think of high school and how slow paced it really was. I never knew that I had difficulty taking tests, which is the real reason my grades have hit a low.

I used to be so scared of getting B's in high school but in college B's would be a piece of heaven to get. There is a specific class that I am having trouble with; but it is not the actual work that is tearing me down (not to brag but I have been owning everyone in the in class discussions in Normal Language Structure) it's the tests that are putting me in a low spot. There is no homework but if you can't apply the material properly or space them out accordingly, you're done. No fun for me.

Although, from the previous tips I have given, I have been able to do better on the past few tests so hopefully, I can get there...TIME!!!! is of the essence!

Anyway

For those who think they could just slither by without working on anything: Don't Do It! Work for it and it will come easier and it will come and stay with you for the rest of your education and, possibly, time.

Good Luck to everyone!

And Good Luck, Me.

:D Over and Oouttt!!!

Happy Belated Valentine's Day!!!! Full Metal Alchemist

Language Stinks!

**Found this a year or two ago.. Laugh about it every time!**

It has been a few years since I decided to become and English Major who specializes in Linguistics and Teaching English as a Second or Foreign Language but I have never disliked language quite as much as I do now.

During my Intro to Linguistics class, the focus has been from sentence structure to pragmatics or the meaning of the phrases. Just today we talked about how our language mainly focuses on the indirect meanings we tell people in our everyday lives. I never really thought about it until today and while I encourage many people to just speak their minds, the realization of how often I use "hints" to get a point across really got me going!

Even now as I write this post, I can see all the places where I have used an indirect message or slang term and frankly (another one!), I have had it!

I don't want to be self-aware!
I don't like this whole language mumbo-jumbo! (I just can't stop!)

The example my professor brought up (she is a linguist and loves it...Bless her heart!) was when we ask for someone to do something for us. People tend to say things along the lines of "If you could pass the salt, that would be great!" A way for people to give a type of indirect comfort or the illusion of options being available when all we really mean is "Give me the salt". Hey, why not just say it?

I have pet peeve for "hints" I don like them or like when people use them on me. Now this depends on who is speaking. If I don't know them that well and my background knowledge of their "ok - angry" meter than I would usually let it slide. If I can say that they are at least "good acquaintances" than I would do what they asked but ask them (nicely) if they could be more clear with what they want. BUT if I know them and I am completely comfortable with them, I won't do anything and respond "Don't hint at it, what do you want?"

Like I said, I dislike it!!!!!

Now that I know that I do that on a seemingly regular basis, I can't stop pointing it out, either in my mind or out loud and I am getting pretty ticked!

The solution? I am so switching majors!!!!!!!!!!!!
>.<

Lingering Pain (A writing for the sake of writing)

I often think about my life and sigh in deep frustration, if frustration can ever be deep.
I don't wish for life to go quickly but the pace seems to be lacking signs of, well, life.

I want something more than just preparing for schoolwork or church work.
I want to be able to say that I have to do this or that. I would prefer options than usual routine.
But once I gain more options I will wish for routine.

I think back to times when there were friends.
Times when I had two little boys watching and learning from me.
A home where I felt truly useful.
Pressures from teachers...the good kind of pressures.

I feel helpless in this dark age.
Useless in the light.
There are no grey (gray) areas.

So where do I belong?

Valentine's Day to You! Dragon Ball Z Style!

This Lovely valentine was created by yours truly (that means, ME)  :D I do hope you all like it!

Happy Valentine's Day to all!

Another post will be up momentarily!

The Winds of Change

It has been about six days since I have returned home from Mexico, visiting family and making memories with new friends and old acquaintances. Being there reminded me of a simpler life with no internet connection and digging deeper into the roots of my childhood.

I can close my eyes and smell the smoke of a burning fire, meat roasting, and the smell of Mexico (if you could only smell what I smelled). I see myself as a little girl, running around barefoot in an over sized t-shirt, hair long and wild from the slight breeze. I still hear my mom yelling at me to stop playing in the sand and my favorite aunt responding that I was just a child who needed to be left alone with my imagination.

I see the photos of my entire family, hanging on the pink walls of my grandmother's home. The smiles of monumental stepping stones of their (and my) life. A frozen past.

I have 36 cousins, 26+ second cousins (called Nieces or Nephews in Mexican Culture) and throughout the years, the only sound I was ever used to was stomping feet of running children, loud familiar laughter from the adults, mainly the women that were cooking in the kitchen (I was specifically excited to eat the cooked beans that I crave all year around). These aunts and uncles with their children, all lived in my grandparents home. My grandmother had 10 children, all of them now married and I remember being loved by all of them in different ways.

Besides the children of my oldest aunt (oldest sister to the 9 siblings including my father), whose children were over the age of 18 when I was born, my siblings and I were the only children in the house when we would visit. The love and attention was able to be all my own. I never needed to look for the approval of that side of my family simply because they wanted to make up for the 9 months that they were not able to be with me.

I was always looked after by my aunts and grandparents. For meals they would serve me a plate full of beans and a side of whatever the main course was. They would tell me stories about how I would cry if they tried to feed me anything else. They still do that for me. Smiling and reminding me of how much love they felt coming from me.

Growing up in two different countries, I had to experience many different things. The mix of cultures seemed to be the least of my worries as my young mind began to explore the dangers of racial issues. I never noticed it before but when I think back to my teenage years, I have been the victim of many racial issues. Even when I would go to Mexico, I would have to face the choice of living in America, where people believe that I am made of money and choose to take advantage of me and my emotions. While I know that it was hard, I grasp the situations life has thrown at me. I appreciate my roots far more because of the ignorance and hate from others.

This past trip was especially 'new' for me. It made me realize what I would like to see in the future and part of what I had never seen from my past.

When we, my family and I, first arrived at my grandmother's home, it was filled with bursting emotions- happiness, gratefulness, and loneliness. As we took turns holding and kissing my grandma, it was my turn, and while she was happy and teary to see all of us, she looked at me, kissed my cheek and began to cry from her soul. She told me that she was all alone- my grandpa passed away in 2011 and my great-grandmother passed away last June. She was alone. And I held her in my arms, crying because of all of our losses. I never knew how to comfort those who were hurting from the loss of loved ones. I only said what came to me "You are never alone. God is with you and here I am."

I spent a lot of time alone with my grandma. The many children of hers were married and moved to houses of their own, taking the stomping of little feet and shouts of unattended yells, with them. My favorite aunt and her children were the only ones who stayed. There were a ton of opportunities for me to go with my parents to different towns to visit and just enjoy our vacation time. But I didn't want those opportunities and took my free time to my grandmother. I would walk in, she would give me food, and then we would sit across from each other with a cup of coffee and some hidden cookies she had. She would tell me about many different and irrelevant things but I knew that they made sense in her mind. I knew that all she wanted was someone to listen to her. After a small chat and the occasional silence, we smiled at each other and listened to the breeze, much like the one that I could feel when I remembered my childhood, we would place our cups in the sink and sit outside, in the warm sunlight.

At night, I would reflect of the days events, hoping that somewhere, my thoughts were being carried in the wind. I would think of my past time in Mexico, things that I wish I grew up faster to see. I knew that this was the first time that I had the mentality of an adult, when I would see what was really there, instead of making my family seem like they are not. Gossip and rumors playing a long path in that mentality.

The time I spent, talking and reflecting, was refreshing and new. I realized that most of my life was a mentality that I didn't want to break, a mask that I never wanted to take away, out of fear that what was underneath would change my life forever. That was when the winds of change appeared.

The moment I stepped out of that van, to hold my family again, was the moment I broke the mask and saw what was really there.

I am scared. Afraid that my life is built upon lies and false hope. I do have faith in myself because I did things that I was comfortable with, that I couldn't do in my American home. I was wanted and appreciated by the children that I saw. I was open and saw myself, the me that was left behind when I was lead astray. So when I came home, to face the false me that was present, the whole world shifted from underneath me.

I question myself again. The path I was walking has puddles of unsure thoughts. I came home and the world around me has passed me by. There is a new melody playing and I still haven't memorized the beat but I am hopeful that I never will.

Things change and while I am all for change, I fear what it will do to me. I lost myself, when I forgot about thinking what the future holds for me, those detailed plans and wishes were put on hold as I just allowed myself to live, and now, they are blurred in front of me.

Change is scary for some but I do not fear it, I merely fear what will become of me. I know myself enough to know that when a decision is made, I stick with it unless it has not gone through. I change my mind often when I am unsure of something and so....here I am.

This new breeze is different than the one I smelled/closed my eyes to, when I was a child. Different from the one I would sit through, those many nights on the wall-fence of my grandmother's home. This breeze does not have a name yet- no feeling or memory.

And it scares me.

K Pop, Dramas, and Japanese Food!

It was around my sophomore year of high school that I began to take an interest in Japanese culture and food. I would spend many hours using perfectly good study time to research the traditions of said culture. At night, I would dream that I was surrounded by cherry blossoms and walk through busy streets, markets, and playgrounds. It was much like my life but in a different country.

Still to this day I dream of doing all those things and more but this time, it is a bit different. I will do them with time and knowledge and not some teenage angst of running away to somewhere unknown. My love for knowledge of other cultures, is what keeps me strong today. I still sit for hours looking for information: airfare, hotel, transportation, food, stores, traditions, pop culture, and more; I feed off of it.

There is something about the world that took me a long time to learn: appreciation. I never have appreciated the town I lived in and the people I knew or the country I grew up in mostly. I never though about how special it was, to be where I am. I am happy to say that I am lucky and grateful for my life.

I look at the people of my past a realize that I am far better off without them and far better off in general. Not to say that they are in a bad place but their mentality is off. I keep hearing them say "boozing" and "hungover", "Pregnant with no baby daddy/mama", "Dropping out of school", etc. I see that my cultural differences have prevented that from setting into my mind.

No, I do not believe that the only reason for my life being amazing the way it is, is because of being Mexican. That is an ignorant thought. The life of being a Christian Mexican (against social norms in my culture) is what set me apart. My parents both happily married to each other, sets me apart. Siblings that support me in my craziest moments, sets me apart. I could continue with what it is that makes me happiest and more free but it all falls on something  more: Me.

If I was like many of the people I knew, I would have ran off two years ago and be homeless and broken. I would have thrown away the love and help that my family has given me all these years (20). How foolish, my childhood seems. I was always looking through the broken window- never seeing a clear picture of how beautiful of a life I was given.

Going back a step or two, I was talking about Japan and it's home-y feeling. I fell in love with it and will be going when the time is right. To teach and learn.

I was spending some time on YouTube, yes, watching those "Cooking with Dog" videos when an ad popped up about Asian Music Awards or something like that. I clicked on the add and fell in love with the crazy amazing world of Kpop music. (For those who do no know, Kpop= Korean Pop Music).

I was instantly hooked on a group named Super Junior. Their music was fun and some were even inspiring. It made me fall more in love with East Asia and all it had to offer. Soon, I was looking at Shinee and CNBlue. So as a refresher- I am a Mexican female, in love with Koreans most appealing male singer/dancers and music, Japanese food (and music), and Chinese art/architecture (and fashion).

The appeal that was given off from all of these different culture's arts has even brought my sister and I together. She like Korean Dramas (as do I) and is a large fan of Kpop group f(x). Their music is wonderful and the girls are all so pretty and not "made to change people" in a negative way. They give hope for anyone who would like to become famous and to those who do not think highly of themselves, do you know what I mean? Fun and entertaining to watch and listen to.

My sister and I bond over videos of f(x) and Super Junior. We have had a lot of fun watching Korean Dramas together (for example: The Heirs- that just ended yesterday). I am very thankful for them. I have my little sister again.

I know what a lot of you are saying/thinking: How can you just openly use those words or phrases? You still know nothing about those places until you go there and see for yourself! It is just a phase!....and so on right? I know that this is not even the tip of the ice berg but at least I am open to them. My craving for adventure, knowledge, and friendship from around the world, makes me an open-minded person. I do not get offended when people come up to me and ask: Do you wear Sombrero's in you house? Do you like tacos? Have you ever eaten cactus? Is your house made of adobe? Do you go to Mexico? Do all Mexicans talk like that {Like Mexican Soap opera actors}? Do you like spicy food? Are you legal? Do you have a green card?.....ETC>!

Not offended at all. Simple because those who are ignorant will not ask these questions but assume answers and create judgmental situations for me to live in their minds. Those who want to know enough, to either clear stereotypical theories or poke fun, will ask and I am glad to answer. Yes, all of those questions have been asked to me and no, I did not get mad. I like it when people ask. It makes this world seem a lot smaller and more close-knit. The way this large Melting Pot should feel.

Random enough? :3


--------------------Videos Ahead!---------------------------

I decided to spread more love and include videos from YouTube, if you would like to hear some songs that my sister and I like. Also a link to the English Subtitled Korean Drama: The Heirs. Which has one of the girls from the group f(x) in it :) I HIGHLY recommend watching it [I cried and laughed a lot!]

LINK: http://www.wonderfulgeneration.net/2013/10/fx-krystal-heirs-english-subbed-episodes.html

Two of my Favorites: Bonamana and Break Down- Super Junior

Two of my sister's favorites: Nu ABO and Electric Shock- f(x)

*I do not own any of these videos...I just like them!